A Fred Meyer Without Employees, Featuring Ungrateful Podcasters

It's back to school day! And what better way to celebrate than to learn all about how bicyclists don't have to stop at stop signs anymore (except for when they do), how Fred Meyer employees dare ask for more and better, how the Supreme Court doesn't care about you whatsoever, and how entitled podcasters can all go f**k themselves.

Follow me on Threads + Instagram @SwedeTrap.

Transcript

The following program uses bad words and talks about bad grown up the things you should only listen to this if you are old. It is for kids
…
Dear god what a day
…
I could cry. I'm not even joking I could cry I could cry right now but first, the introduction. It's been a while It's always been a while I'm not even gonna give you an excuse It doesn't matter I'm Robert Wagner This is Portland sucks and today is Wednesday August the twenty eighth and the year of our law To twenty twenty four How you doing? I'm doing great. I'm doing great despite the laughing the laughing the laughing the laughing and the kriting…
Uh my god It just never ends Back to school day…
Today was the first day of school for public schools in Portland That was my daughter not recently obviously. Um, I recorded that quite a few years ago I think it was pre pandemic I actually recorded that. Um but she was thrilled…She would not be thrilled to know that I'm still using it. Uh but she doesn't listen to this anyway She doesn't even know what a podcast is I'm not on YouTube so to her I'm just an old person that uh does things that are irrelevant, irrelevant media for an irrelevant era from an irrelevant time in an irrelevant generation…
I don't care what you old people do dad. You just go do it I was watching this YouTuber the other day and they said to just ignore you podcasters…
But dear lord I just got back from, uh a quick trip to the grocery store. Do you say grocery or grocery? I say grocery. But I like to mix it up every now and then. Being that I'm from the state of Washington.
Do you say Washington or Washington? I say Washington. But um yeah so you know I've I'm in North Portland, um not that you needed to know that not that you even care But I have my pick…of two Fred Meyer stores Fred Meyer being a Kroger…owned…grocery outlet…
And um, yeah I just, uh I got on the old bicycle…
True story, and wrote over to the Fred Meyer one of the two Fred Meyer stores, and uh all I needed to buy was a tube of toothpaste. That was it I was gonna buy toothpaste and I was gonna get myself some kinda quick fix lunch. From the deli. I figured that was a an easy way to eat something that was probably not as bad as going to a fast food place but not as good as actually preparing something for myself at home. I have these…fascinating new dietary restrictions.
I'll get to those in a minute That's really not important right now and frankly none of your business but I like to talk about irrelevant things. Um as podcasters and YouTubers do, But um yeah I'm pulling into the parking lot I thought oh my god Like this is this is like a dream come true There's nobody here The parking lot was virtually empty There was like four cars and no bikes attached to the bike rack I thought fuck. This is like the ultimate time Wednesday at you know twelve ten PM Mark the calendar This is what I'm gonna go to the grocery store every week From now on in…
fact
…
I should do all my grocery shopping right now when there's nobody here. Little did I know? Little did I know…
That even though the grocery store was open so I I park my bike I lock it up I walk up to there's two entrances to this particular store. I walk up to the one entrance and it's closed And I said mhmm that's weird. But that's not a first I've actually seen this before. Um I don't know why they do it every once in a while they close this particular entrance I assume it's because they can't keep people employed there. So maybe they were just you know running a little thin today.
So you know no big deal I just you know walk down It's not like I don't need exercise I just walk down to the food entrance That's what they call it the food entrance There's the food entrance and then the, I don't know the other entrance It really doesn't matter what it's called. Walk down to the food entrances And as I'm on my way down there there's this guy standing next to the building he says hey You going in there to shop I'm like oh fuck Here we go Yeah Yeah He goes just so you know they're on
…
strike
…
And I go oh really? He goes yeah He goes they're gonna give you a lot of shit…if you try and shop here He says you can go in there and shop for groceries Don't get me wrong You can go in there and shop They're gonna give you a lot of shit They're gonna tell you to go to Safeway They're gonna tell you to go somewhere else Now you could go in there. But they're gonna tell you to go somewhere else They're gonna try and stop you. And I said like, like, physically? Like or they're just gonna try and talk me out of it He goes no No No No He just they'll they'll just try and talk you out of it And I go, Oh I said I wasn't aware of this I haven't been watching the local news lately because well, Portland area local news sucks and I fucking hate all those people.
Not the newscasters. It's the people who write this shit. Some of the newscasters are nice, except Jeff Giola He's a fat pig I hate that guy. I don't even care if he knows that I said that. Um…
he's like every time I see like every time somebody mentions the the movie deliverance, I think of Jeff Gianola. It's fucking terrible to say that but whatever. Moving on Um…
yeah so I'm just like you know oh really Well okay. And you know I'm like you know what you know what? This particular Fred Meyer I've been going here for years, and I actually really like the people that work here. And this Fred Meyer that I've been going to for years, that houses these employees, that bust their ass to make sure that the shelves are stocked The food is fresh The aisles are clean…
You know what? I feel for them. Because I'll tell you I've seen some shit. Just as a patron…of this particular Fred Meyer store. I've seen some shit Now I don't spend nearly as much time in this particular Fred Meyer store as a someone who works there even part time.
Even part part time even part part part part part time…
The full time people that work there I gotta think they really see some shit Now just to give you an idea, I have seen I've been walking through the aisle. The aisles…of this particular Fred Meyer store. And I think you could probably say this of almost any Fred Meyer in the Greater Portland Metro area but these two in particular in the in the north end of the city…are particularly bad I'm sure maybe there's a Fred Meyer close to you that's particularly bad too but I know you know from experience that you know these ones are let's just put it this way It's not like you know, the type of thing you'd see out in Beaverton. It's not the type of thing you'd see in Lakeaswego. It's not the type of thing you'd even see in maybe a Hillsboro.
This is next level disgusting. And it's not the fault of the employees or the people to work there It's the fault of the city of Portland for not being able to please…at all You know you you you really can't fault the employees of a store you know they can't keep up with it This particular Fred Meyer is right off a a very well known, well
…
traveled path…that is frequented by, well you know fucking scumbags. Scumbags hobos drug addicts I'm not gonna call them the homeless because the house list the homeless whatever you wanna call them You know that's that's a a wide and varied group. Some of whom are you know less fortunate than others. But the scumbags definitely drug addicts Oh absolutely Fucking hobos grifters fuck heads Yeah Totally Lots of them go to this Fred Meyer
…
And they beg, they borrow and they steal and they shit on the fucking floor I know this because I've literally been walking down…the aisle of a Fred Meyer this particular Fred Meyer and I've seen a pile of human excrement. Now I know it wasn't dog shit because I know what dog shit looks like and I know what people shit looks like because well I shit every day and I know what it looks like Right And I know the difference. I've literally turned the corner to go down the fucking chip aisle Get some snack chips and boom There's a load. I've seen shit I've seen vomit I've seen piss I've seen needles I've seen all manner of things. And I can't blame this on the employees.
Now…I know that this isn't specifically…
They aren't yeah This isn't specifically what their strike against against This this is not a strike against the biohazards in their day to day existence but it's not helping…
They're striking because of the corporate Kroger bullshit that's going on and the greater you know takeover buy out Albertsons versus Fred Meyer versus whatever crap that's going on I can't be bothered…to really pay attention to it But what I do know…is I feel for these fucking people. I really do because these people go to work every day, not knowing…What they're gonna have to fucking deal with because this shitty can't pull its head out of its fucking ass long enough to fucking clean up its act and make it so that families…can go to the fucking grocery store without seeing some fucking scumbag low life junkie fucking passed out on fentanyl taking a dump in the fucking ice cream container you know the fucking freezer…
while they're just trying to get some fucking chocolate chip mint You know what I mean? Like and so I figure if these guys and gals and women and men and you know whatever else. If they want to take this time and say you know we've had enough…
We either want better pay or better conditions or both fuck you corporate? I'm gonna support them I don't even care what they want. At this point I see day after day what they have to go through and I don't even care what they want. Like I give it to them Fuck you Give it to them. Fuck you Kroger.
You know? And so you know I'm talking to this guy and I'm like yeah so they're on strike. I said yeah And I'm like you know what Fuck Kroger And I get back on my bike. And I ride over to the front of the store the other entrance, And there's all these guys out there You know they're all stand there Women men you know workers, Fred Meyer people, you know the the folks that I see working there every time I fucking go in there I recognize them. I don't go through the self check thing Fuck that I can't scan that shit.
These people are pros man They're skilled. Skilled laborers. I'm an idiot. I can't do this stuff like they can. I can't fucking find the bar code on anything.
This is what they do I trust them to do it They're good at it. I want them to have better working conditions I'm willing to pay more so that they get it. I want the system to work for them. If the system works for them the system works for me If the system doesn't work for them fuck you I'm not shopping there…
And so I stopped…
And I said you know what I don't have a fucking horn on my bike I don't have a little bell to cheer you guys on but fuck. Yeah Don't stop Don't ever stop Get what the fuck you want And they all raise their fucking signs and they went yeah. I was just like fuck yeah…
Kinda wanna side myself I kinda wanna sit out here with you but I don't work here. And they're like man you need groceries I'm like, yeah And they're like we'll go down to Safeway I'm like nah fuck Safeway I'm gonna go to new season They're like yeah New seasons right down the street Like yeah Okay. Because Safeway is disgusting The Safeway down the other direction is equally disgusting Like it's a disgusting fucking store. It is foul as shit. That Safeway There's a safe way that's I mean it's not too close to me It's actually quite a bit further but…it's so bad that like I need a toothpaste Right?
You can't go in there and actually get toothpaste Toothpaste is fucking locked up. So many fucking junkies are stealing toothpaste I don't know if they're fucking selling it fucking shoving up their ass selling it to other junkies What the fuck they're doing with it Maybe they're putting it on fucking eBay. I don't know. But yeah you can't even buy fucking toothpaste with Can you help me get some toothpaste please I have to you have to go fucking get assistance Toothpaste and fucking Lego, you know like you go to a fucking Fred Meyer anywhere in the city of Portland you can't just go pick up a box of Lego anymore. You have to get special assistance.
Like like you're buying a fucking laptop…
because too many fucking people just steal it. That's what they do They just walk in there and take what they want and leave Why Because the city of Portland doesn't give a fuck They don't give a shit They're just driving everything down down down down. Let's wait until the whole thing's cratered so bad And then our our fucking filthy rich fucking filthy white fucking hetero fucking white male fuck friends can come in swoop in with their rich millions of dollars and buy the property cheap And then when it turns around they'll be worth billions…
It's a fucking scam is what it is. But your fucking mayor at work right there. What they don't realize though is is that sometimes, Detroit, it gets too far gone and it just never comes back And all these dickheads they'll come for that fucker's head because sometimes there is no reversing it But in the meantime, I'd really like it if if everybody if you're listening to this and and you live in Portland and you shop at Fred Meyer don't shop at Fred Meyer until this is resolved don't shop at Fred Meyer In fact, fucking wait it out an extra week beyond when these guys get what they what what they want Make sure they get everything they're asking for. A hundred and ten percent. Like they should get beyond what they're asking for This union should be like now what Fuck it.
We want all this and then some and fucking free ice cream too. You know fucking free Lego, free toothpaste free ice cream for the fucking kids. Extra toothpaste because you ate the ice cream The extra sugar will fuck you up…
But yeah. I don't know I was just like I felt like…
What what a fucked up thing? Why should you have to do that? You know the system is failing around you Your own company is failing you. And this is what you have to do now Now you have to go stand out here and not get paid for what? To get the bare minimum It's not like they're being paid a lot of money to begin with You know I know what those people make They're not making like enough money to be they they're barely squeaking by.
You know? And it got me thinking about about all this other stuff You know I I made the mistake I I went to new seasons which was you know it's new seasons Fuck new seasons Right Like it's okay It's it's nothing special. I got two tubes of toothpaste I bought myself a slice of fucking pizza It was mediocre at best. And I went back outside. I sat next to my bike.
I ate the pizza while scrolling the internet big fucking mistake And the first thing I landed on was the Supreme Court ruling some bullshit about, you know, This thing that president Biden wanted to do about forgiving this student debt? Nah We're not gonna let that happen…
And I was thinking fuck You know…
Once upon a time, I used to say this thing that in hindsight was one of those stupid things that ignorant fuckers like me say because we just don't know what the fuck we're talking about and I like to think that I learn…you know over time that you know, and and I don't learn by myself People correct me And I you know I genuinely feel I'm one of those people I'd like to think I'm one of those people that listens to what others have to say. And I learn based on the input I get And sometimes I agree with the input And sometimes you know I take it under advisement I think about it I do some little research I do some more thinking I approach it from all angles Libra I you know I'm balanced like that I think…And sometimes I'm like yeah fuck you No I'm right In this case I'm wrong I'm reading this thing. And you know I'm like what the fuck? You know it's like four hundred million dollars in debt or something It was supposed to be forgiven And a bunch of fuck heads, in fucking you know graduation gowns, get to convene one day and go yeah no Not gonna do that. And I thought man that's a lot of young people to piss off It's a lot of young people to just fuck over.
You know why would you do that What do you care What do you get out of this You know who are your friends involved in finance…
that you're appeasing? You know who's kicking money back to you Supreme Court justices…
Where you can just make this arbitrary decision that has no fucking impact on you whatsoever. You know the president made it so. But you said no What do you care? You know I get the political gain he may get from it. But he's not running again He's what we call a lame duck at this point So he's not gonna score any points He's not gonna get reelected because well that's just not an option at this point Is it?
So what is the use of this? And I thought fuck you know, the people in this fucking country are really lucky sometimes. The higher ups the people in power as it were are really fucking lucky that you know…
these these young people or these people that work at the Fred Meyer they don't just take matters into their own hands and go you know what Fuck you know Cause…how do you fuck people over like that? You know? How do you do that How do you justify that How do you sleep at night I'd be living in fear man? Four hundred million dollars that many people Do you realize…
Do you realize how many people that impacts? That's a lot of fucking people. That's a lot of people. And, you know all of a sudden now you have all of these former students who are in a ridiculous amount of…
debt. Who now have you know they had a glimmer of hope a light at the end of the tunnel and now boom, just like that snap of the finger decision by the Supreme Court Justice Asholes in their stupid graduation gowns. All of a sudden now that hope is gone…
It's a lot of people to piss off Don't you ever sit and think of the ram potential ramifications of that? Like I'd be worried. I'd be scared shitless. Like at some point you know you you don't live in a in a peaceful country man. You really don't It's not like these people can't figure out where you live.
You know Now I'm not advocating violence whatsoever far from it but god if it were me, I'd be worried. I'd be lying awake at night going fuck That probably wasn't a good idea. Now, I used to have this really stupid, incredibly ignorant attitude…about student debt. I was one of these idiots that was like, Man you know if you didn't want the student debt you probably shouldn't have gone to college in the first place Duh. Yeah I have actually said that.
And in hindsight that's like one of those things that like fuck. Dude, Just…that's the kind of trouble that's gonna come out of your mouth Just shut the fuck up. You know? Because that's not now, what I feel about college educations aside…
There are very legitimate reasons to, you know go get a higher education Yeah There's no denying that For for some people in some occupations and some careers, that's a necessity. Um I don't know a lot of people for whom they're writing great successes from their their college educations, but that's just me You know your mileage may vary Nonetheless, though…
This is something that was promised to these people This is something that you know they were told hey we're gonna forgive this debt. This is a really stupid way…for people to collect money to just fuck you for the rest of your life because you know hey, you wanted to have a better life And you should be paying for that You should be fucked forever. For wanting something a little better for yourself And perhaps even for the rest of the world let's I mean let's face it Maybe you went to college to become a doctor Maybe you wanted to help the world. You know and now you're just gonna sit here and drown in the dead of that Meanwhile you're delivering babies or curing fucking cancer But hey fuck you know you're never, ever ever ever gonna get out from under it because the system said no. And here's this ignorant fucking podcast asshole in Portland.
You know if you didn't wanna be in debt if she didn't ever get into college, fucking moron…
I can't think of who's dumber. You know is it is it me for saying that Or I mean maybe I'm dumber but I'm definitely not nearly as evil It's evil…to take that away to take that relief away. It's absolutely evil If the federal government has figured out a way if the president of the United States has figured out a way to relieve this debt in a manner…that is not going to oh my god You know what's gonna happen Are we gonna be able to buy what one less fucking aircraft carrier? You know Oh no. Oh no…
Is that really what it's gonna amount to Is that gonna be the detriment to society that that relieving debt for all of these these people is gonna be Oh that's tragic. That's so tragic. It's fucking horrible…
Yeah The Supreme Court man. Taco Supreme Court. Fucking Brito Supreme Court. Fucking hate those people. You should too.
Not in a violent manner. But you know if I was one of them I'd I don't know man I'd buy extra locks for the front door I mean that's just me I'd be worried about it Like, anything else anything else. Like you could be like judge Clarence Thomas, you know Supreme Court fuck Clarence Thomas. You know fullandering. Fuck, Clarence Thomas.
Right? And you could be taking money from special interests. You could be flying you know airplanes all over the place on somebody else's dime, taking cash left and right, you know, harassing anita Hill to no fucking end because he did…
And you know that's not the kind of thing anybody's gonna come over and like you know, fucking stab you in the face for. But I don't know man. Screwing thousands of people out of debt relief? Four hundred million I think it was? Fuck I don't know where I come from like even like you know five ten thousand dollars That's enough.
You know that's enough money That that's enough right there You know that'll get you fucking shot. You know Drug deal gone wrong for you know three four hundred dollars It's enough to get you shot in the ghetto. You know pretty much anywhere. This is just not the kind of thing you fuck around with…
I don't know I'd be freaked out. They're not freaked out They're not afraid of anything They're like the it's like they're they fucking think they're just impervious to anything They're above at all…
Fucking assholes What are they wearing Are they wearing Maybe they maybe that's why they wear the fucking graduation gowns the fucking body armor or something You know It fucking hides all that stuff. Fuck. I just it just makes me angry though Like I was already about this fucking strike thing not because it inconvenienced me but because you know fuck Kroger you know Like I love my local Fred Meyer employees They're so nice to me. They're so nice to me They're cleaning up a human feces in the fucking aisle twelve, and yet they always have a fucking smile…
And then what? You know I go eat a fucking piece of pizza I can't even get fucking good news. I can't even fucking get good news…
But yeah so I was riding my bike It was a toss-up Between the bike and the e scooter do you see a theme here? I don't drive. I am carless in my family right now Why doesn't matter? We are currently car less because the insurance companies suck whole other topic for a whole other podcast I don't have the emotional energy for it. But yeah, we are car free at the moment Yet again we were car free a number of years It's really not that big of a deal I actually hate driving anyway Somebody with my personality type probably shouldn't drive because I like to go fast and I don't really like rules.
Um…
but…I'm really into electric assisted vehicles…
um, not cars Although those are cool too. Um but I have an e scooter I actually have two. I have an e bike I actually have two Yes But it was a toss-up. But I opted for the ebike today because I was on an e scooter the other day and actually got into an accident on an e scooter. I got into an accident on my e scooter because I was hit by a cyclist…
No lie I was going down the street. Now when you're on an e scooter, you don't tend to go on the sidewalks in Portland because Portland sidewalks are just fucked up like they are so fucked up. Now this is a great e scooter It has really great suspension on it Okay Like you have to get suspension My first e scooter had no suspension and like your teeth would turn to powder as you try to navigate around Portland streets You don't think about this Kind of stuff at first You know you just go get a scooter and you're like this'll be fun And you get like three blocks and you're like Jesus Christ you know my jaw is so clenched from like you know my teeth rattling and stuff that like I I can't feel anything. So I upgraded. I got one with suspension It's fucking fantastic It's a great thrill to ride this thing I'm probably too old for it but I don't care I'm having a blast.
But I'm riding this thing I tend to ride you know I you basically just kind of ride the right side of back roads You know I stay out of the way of traffic because let's face it I don't have a shot in hell You know if you know car versus me on an e scooter car is gonna win every time. But I usually go you know I usually travel on my e scooter, during times where there's very little traffic. I rarely see cars. I usually see a lot of pedestrians who wave at me When I don't wave back please don't take it personally If I remove one hand from the East scooter I tend to fall over because this is a balancing act Right If you've ever tried one of these things you'll know that after a while it's it's only after you've put in like a hundred or so miles that you could actually ride one handed Like it's tough. It's not like a bike Okay.
So I just kinda nod smile People love it It brings people joy Hey look at that guy in that scooter He's going like twenty miles now That's neat Great And it is It's a it's a blast. But I ride on the street because the streets are slightly better than the sidewalks. Um
I follow all the rules of the road I stop at all the stop signs. I always do It's a fucking e scooter and I'm not stupid I wanna live to see tomorrow. Right Who wouldn't…
I'm going along…
I'm on this road I'm like six blocks from my house…
Going into an intersection, a woman on a bike…blows the fucking stop sign, comes barreling right at me I…
hop off the back of the scooter and let the scooter go There's no way I'm gonna be able to break in time She plows into my scooter, falls, skins her knees skins her elbow, crashes, the fucking front wheel of her bike gets slightly bent and comes off the bike…
She gets up and starts screaming at me. Screaming at me…
The first words I'm out of my mouth are are you okay? And she goes what are you doing? And I go are you okay? And she goes what are you doing? I'm like we're at an impasse here.
I'm like…
I…you had a stop sign And she goes cyclists don't have to stop. I shit you not She argued that cyclists don't have to stop at stop signs. I had no stop sign This was not a four way stop. It was a two way stop. I had no stop sign…
This was it was it was the best…argument of all time. Now I know what she's referring to. At some point I don't know a year maybe two years ago the state of Oregon or whatever passed a law saying that yeah if you're on a bicycle now you can do some kind of bullshit have fast like hey if nobody's coming you just cruise right on through that stop sign. Which…okay Cool I kinda get it. I kinda get it because it's a pain in the ass to fully stop at every stop sign when there's nobody there and then get back up to speed If you're on an analog bicycle I only really ride y by it's no big deal I just throttle up and go Not a big deal.
But I said you know no That's not the law. The law is you can only you you only have to not stop at stop signs if it's clear She says no Cyclists don't have to stop at stop signs I'm like You ought to try that when there's a car coming. She goes no They have to yield. And I'm like wow. How you're not fucking dead is anybody's guess And she's like what?
And I'm like, My scooter's fine I'm sorry about your bike She's like what You you don't even care And I'm like, lady…
You literally ran through the stop sign and could have severely hurt me She's like I'm hurt And I'm like yeah, because you ran a stop sign. No Cyclists don't have to yield I'm like and when you learn to read, maybe you'll get better at this But in the meantime I gotta go home. And I left and I laughed for the next five blocks until I got home I literally laughed my ass off I can't believe there are people who are the stupid and entitled. I can't believe it. Like, This this law comes out, and you choose You literally choose to interpret it this way because it's convenient for you.
For you. It's not because you think that's actually how it is it's that you read it and decided in your mind this is how you're going to interpret it There's no way you actually believe this And if you do oh my god you're so much fucking dumber than I re than than than anybody I've ever met Like how do you think this? Think about it. How how are you not dead? Every stop sign you come up to every stoplight you come up to you just go right through it How have you not been killed by a bus?
What the fuck? The fact that you've only t boned a scooter at this point is a small miracle. I mean so far as I know who knows? Maybe she's you know maybe this is her seventeenth accident in the past month I have no idea I have no way of knowing. But it was fascinating.
Cyclless don't have to stop. Cyclless don't have to stop. Do you remember that If you're a cyclist there you go. Word of advice you no longer have to stop anywhere Fuck him Doesn't matter. You do what you wanna do Just go right down out there and you you do you…
Uh I love it. I absolutely love it but that wasn't even that that was like a week ago The rest of my day today was truly phenomenal though And this is so it has nothing to do with Portland Nothing to do with Portland at all It has to do with podcasting. There's nothing I love more than complaining about podcasters…on a podcast As you probably will know if you've ever heard this show. So in my um in my day to day life the thing that keeps me from making episodes of this more often than once every two months or whatever the cadence is these days…
I make podcasts. And…
I I work for a company that is uh actually fairly generous when it comes to our resources. And every once in a while they decide to tell me you know what? Here's a worthy cause Here's somebody over here who needs our help. What do you think? And some time ago, I guess it was about a year and a half ago, they they brought me this woman who was…
she's a mom, a professional working woman…
who…
was an executive…was I emphasize was was an executive, who worked for a firm, um in one of the big big cities It doesn't matter I don't want you to identify this person I don't want you to know who she is It really doesn't matter. Um but she had a big big title…at a big firm doing big things Let's just say that She had a child during…COVID
…
has a husband has another child whatever And she wanted to do a podcast about the trials and tribulations
…
of being a female executive, juggling all these various things and still retaining one sanity…
And I met with her twice before I agreed to anything And my company said to me if you don't wanna do this don't do it but you know hear her out. You know we think she's, you know we we think she's you know interesting We we think she's a nice person She's been a friend of our companies in various capacities We've known her for a long time. You know, just…
Give it a shot. Come back Let us know what you think So I had a pair of conversations with her I really liked her. Um I thought she had a lot of really interesting things to say. Um she had a fairly unique perspective on life. She had done a lot of interesting stuff, and she had a a pretty solid plan for what to do with her podcast as a professional.
And the whole deal here is we accept no money from her whatsoever This is just something we do at the goodness of our heart It's not a tax write off. There's no sponsorship. There's no, you know shared revenue shouldn't sell There's there's nothing of the sort It's literally…us through my labor…and our corporate resources…doing a good deed just because hey why not You know sometimes you see people and you think man this is probably this is this seems worthwhile Let's do this. And so we did. And at some point, during the course of a few months…
This woman went from…humble…and kind…and interesting…
to having…
One of the most unbearable…super egos. I have ever had the displeasure of working with in my entire…podcasting career And…let me tell you. I've worked with a lot of fucking people…
Portland…and abroad…
globally. For whom for whatever reason, podcasting…is the thing that unlocks…the fucking Super ego and they all fit into this particular category They are people for whom in the rest of life, they have very few friends. They have very little going on They have wicked low self esteem they don't believe in themselves. And so when a handful of people start listening to them they start to take it way too seriously. And it's a mistake.
It's a mistake If you're not doing this either to…make a living professionally talking about something and getting paid by somebody else to do it or b, simply doing it like like this. I don't make this podcast in twenty twenty four and I didn't make it in two thousand nine. For money. I didn't make it to be popular. I didn't make it for my own ego For me it has always been this thing where I…
get out my thoughts It's my version of a fucking diary. Now once upon a time I did my diary with my friends. And to be perfectly honest with you that wasn't nearly as satisfying for me. It always felt like you know in in its various uh incarnations…you know we had different names and it turned into like some bullshit y like kind of a morning show thing And yeah it was fun to hang out with your pals and stuff like that But then it felt like radio and fuck radio I've always hated fucking radio I hate radio DJs I hate everything about radio I hate Hey What's up Good morning And now we need to play the latest trip by Roan DMC Fuck that shit I don't care. To me this has always been about…recording…my thoughts.
And hey if you happen to find them interesting or entertaining or you know wanna judge me or whatever go for it. That's it That's all it is. You know I don't you know if you learn from it great If you don't great. It really I I treat this like anything else I do that I don't do professionally. This is not I this is not what I do professionally…
But there are people who do these similar things and they take it far too seriously right out of the gate. And they get ten listeners or a hundred listeners or a thousand listeners, and they start to think that oh my god…
I'm the next big thing. Wandering is gonna call me Spotify is gonna call me. I'm waiting for the million dollar deal In fact I deserve the million dollar deal and I don't need you people anymore and crack the whip to this for me boy. And that's how this woman got…
She got very demanding She got demanding to the point with me Now bear in mind she's not paying us…
In fact when I tally it all up we actually gave her over one hundred thousand…dollars US…in services…
Hundred thousand dollars in services over that…over the course of a year What we would charge anyone else on the…
planet. We gave her for nothing because she was a friend because we liked her because we believed in her And she turned on a dime and became a fucking asshole almost overnight
…
How did she do that She came to me one day and she says here's my new episode I want this post tomorrow. Exactly like that Like I just read that verbatim Here's my new episode I want this posted tomorrow. Here's the edits. Here's the new intro and she sent me like seven files. And I'm like I don't understand what any of this is.
And she's like uh, well here you need to take this part of this and this part of this and then merge these two and then do this and this and this and then I want this removed from this and this removed from this And I'm like but across three emails. And I'm like I'm still could you put this all in one email? And just in a list because I'm still I'm not understanding…what you want…
Okay Fine. Is it and and so she did And she's like is it clear now? And I'm like whoa…
Really…
We're doing this for nothing…
And you're gonna have an attitude about it And so I said you know gently I said you know, this needs to be made somewhat easy. I said I'm under a lot of pressure right now to trim some of the things that aren't making money…
And…this is not making money. Well now I just you know nobody's supported me at all during this entire process. Then she posts this shit like she starts posting things on social things on social media about how know I'm looking for a new home for my podcast because nobody supported me. Nobody supported me at all To which I being me have to take issue I have to go now I have to start sending texts And I'm like are you out of your fucking mind? Are you serious right now?
I have literally put hundreds of hours into your podcast project. We have literally…given you without expecting anything in return Nothing…
Over one hundred thousand dollars…
in value, in labor, in promotion…
We've just handed it to you. And you mean to tell me we gave you nothing? Well I just don't feel supported…
You don't feel supported. I feel like the rug's just been pulled out from underneath me. Yeah. It has. You've been let go because now all of a sudden you've become this person who has this attitude…that no one's gonna put up with.
Like you could be paying us and I would tell you to go fuck yourself Who does this Who sends seven files with
…
thirty four different things across three emails and expects me to read their mind and the needs it turned around by tomorrow morning And isn't paying
…
I wouldn't take that from a paying partner or customer or client Let alone somebody who's supposed to be my friend who has said Gosh we're friends You're not my fucking…
friend
…
Friends don't do that to one another. And so I get and and and then it you know tears. Of course Of course there's tears. There has to be tears…
I just thought you know I mean it just it just means so much to me. No It doesn't mean anything to you mean something to you. You never stopped once to think about what this was like to anybody else involved. You never stopped to think about the things that oh I don't know The marketing team was doing for you You never stopped to do to think about you know what maybe I was doing for you Oh no No No No No I I appreciate you so much If you appreciate me so much why do you fucking talk to me like I'm a fucking idiot Like I'm some fucking pee on? I've been doing this for fucking twenty years You fucking dick?
This is how you treat me? You get a taste of an audience a taste of an audience. And all of a sudden you're the most important person in the world and this is how it gets You get these people Fucking I know people that they get on YouTube and they cross the fucking man I got five hundred views. And all of a sudden they're not your friends anymore and it's hilarious. Five hundred views Five thousand views Fifty thousand views Who gives a fuck None of it What what is fifty thousand views on YouTube worth?
A dollar fifty? So fucking what…
You know Like so what? Well you know the podcast was really not what I was really all about anyway It's really all about selling my book Oh my god You have a book? Here's a clue Here's a clue right here If you have a friend and they tell you You there writing a book Guess what They're never gonna fucking write a book Nobody that tells you they're writing a book is ever gonna write a book People who write books have already written a book. They have the book It's sitting there They've already written it Anybody who tells you they're writing a book they don't fucking write books They just said they're in pretend like they're gonna write books They're full of fucking shit Nobody who writes books says they're gonna write a book. They don't.
You either write books or you talk about writing books? That's it That's the two groups. Everybody talks about writing books or they write books There is no middle ground here. But that was her thing All of a sudden the podcast owned It really It really meant nothing It was just really a vehicle for my book to get my book sold…
What's a million copies of a book worth these days Do you think…
Twenty five thirty thousand dollars on its best day, a million copies I mean I think that's probably high. What's the advance? On a million copies of a book I don't even think it's that much…
These people don't live in reality Like they have no idea It has nothing to do with any of it It has to do with the glory of it. They live in this fucking weird world of nineteen ninety six or some shit And they think that the world still operates in that same way. And quite frankly, if you're not Joe rogan or fucking mister beast or somebody like that and you're not like tracking shit in the billions, dude. You're gonna have to have a job where you do this stuff. It's it's like that you do the thing you love doing for the job.
I podcast…for my job, and it subsidizes…the podcast I want to do. Right? You see how that works It it's really very simple I podcast for a living so that I can podcast for fun It's really the best of both worlds I have it really fucking good I know this. I don't ever look the gift horse in the mouth I wouldn't do that because I'm not a fucking asshole This woman a fucking asshole. Complete fucking asshole She's still texting me Like as I've been talking, for this past forty six minutes and seventeen seconds according to my little recording board thing here, She has still sent me three texts.
So um
what am I supposed to do now? What will become of this podcast? I don't fucking know I press a button It gets deleted Fuck you It's really not my problem. Here's a link to download your files. Go Fuck yourself I don't care.
Like I I seriously I gave this woman like three opportunities to fucking back down. Like you can apologize all you want but you have to stop…With the whole like yes I'm sorry, but…you know there's no but. You apologize you admit you were wrong. It's really not difficult to do I literally just did it like twenty minutes ago I said I said a really stupid thing. About college debt.
I've said it multiple times I'm an idiot for having said that That is a fucking horrible thing to say Horrible thing to say It undermines
…
all of the challenges that people who have ever accrued…college debt have gone through and for what? It's a simple stupid statement that comes out of my mouth What do I know? Nothing Clearly. And and it it's it's crass and it's awful and it's one of the worst things somebody like me can say. And I'm wrong and it was wrong for me to ever say that And I could never apologize enough to anybody who ever heard me say that.
That that impacted or made feel bad because there's no excuse for it. It's wrong…
I shouldn't be forgiven for that. I should learn from it Yes. I should think before I speak more in the future. Yes. Will I always will will I be perfect from here on out Absolutely not.
But Jesus Christ if I could admit that I'm wrong so can you lady…
So can you I don't understand people You know I I really just don't Man Uh you know
…
But yeah so what did we learn today? Very simple. Bicyclists don't have to stop. You shouldn't be shopping at Fred Meyer. And um, yeah nobody fucking cares about your fucking podcast.
And how dare you for a second ever? Ever think that you should take advantage of people who are giving you something for nothing just to try and help you out Not you, per se. But you know what I mean? Until next time Thanks for listening Bye bye
…